New Home Site

I finally got my act together and have updated the footsteps web site. All that spare time in various bed and sofas with a laptop did have some benefit.

I was getting concerned that I had different web systems in different places and was ignoring my home page which was looking very dated and had become very static. Basically little more than a jumping off point to the gallery or to the blog. Thats all now changing with an open source product called Joomla. So far I've got the blogging component up and running with some integration to the coppermine photo gallery.

I've even cleaned up some of the pictures as I'd gone a little overboard and had loaded to many up there! So please bear with me. I'm don't know if I'll transfer this blog over but time will tell.

later.
www.footsteps.co.nz

Its a growing thing.

I think I'm going to have to find some new hobbies as the most exciting thing for me today has been seeing that the lemon grass I brought the other day is sending out little roots. I had a look at the stems I got and selected two that had not completely had the based trimmed off and plonked them into a glass or water on my desk. Today one of them is sending out little shoots from its base.

No idea if the other one will shoot out yet, but not worried as it looks like I'm going to have my own lemon grass plant. And I've got the pot all ready for it and , man I'm sad!

Reality Compression

Before I went in for chemotherapy I treated myself to a pair of the Bose Noise cancelling headphones (yeah the real bad boy ones).  Well all I can say is what a joy to your ear they are.  Firstly they are so comfortable when putting on, like slipping into fresh egyption cotten sheets (whoops back on subject).  Then you flip the switch to activate the noise cancel and its like a compression of reality.

You don't realise just how much backgroud noise is going on until you turn it off.  It almost feels like the world in collasping inwards.  Then you turn on the music, and sweet sweet sound comes pouring out.  No blibs and burbs, or tinny base.  These are one of the sweetest sounding headphones around.  The cancelling of background noise lets you enjoy the smooth tones anywhere.  (well almost).

Once the music starts it really is like a separate world, and you are the only person there.  In a city of 35+millon people, thats a big thing.

Spring my hairless arse

The last few days have been totally freezing. If I did know better it would be reasonable to think it was just waiting for me. The weather channels are actually saying that the sakura will be in blossom on Wednesday. They are normally accurate as cherry blossom is big bussiness

Back at the Sea.

Just had a wonderful day away this weekend down at Zushi which is the next main stop along from the famous Kamakura. It a really lovely place with a vibe of Japan mets Manly/Capetown.

The weather was stunningly nice, cool as the wind was blowing of the snow from Fuji-san, but still a wonderful early spring day. Being only an hour from Central Tokyo its actually quite a commutable distance and is up for serious consideration to move to. Its not really Shimoda, but still a wonderful place to come to to regenerate.

Go with the music!

Just received the lastest CD from BT today, wow wow wow. And a located a chicane video for a new/old piece of music.

Reconciling Life, Cancer and Christmas Trees

OK, why Christmas tree’s. Well spend some time having chemo therapy in a hospital and you start to see your IV stand as a Christmas tree. When you have an intravenous canuler they can add all these little gadgets so you can have more than one IV line running into you at one time. My constant companion was always the saline bag, added onto that were the others they gave me. In the mornings they amounted to 5 different things going in. It was just a matter of the nurse coming in and hooking up all these different things to the stand.

From memory there was the saline, the anti nausea, the kidney sometime, the urine something and something else. After most of them went in the first chemo cisplatin went in for 3 hours, then a really shitty one which I have no idea what it was but hurt like hell. Then the next chemo Etoposide for another 3 hours. They used to give me hot packs to put on my arm as it relieved the pain of the shitty one going into the vein.

I would start at 9am and finish about 7pm. I guess I was really lucky that they pumped so much anti nausea into me that I was never really violently ill, rather I spent a lot of time feeling like I wanted to throw up but could quite get there. When I could it was minimal, but damn I remember the smells of lunch and dinner so much. At one point they gave me a mask at dinner time so I could try and escape the smell of everyone else eating.

Being in Japan a lot of the food was fish and it really smelt, which is terrible as I love fish and to date of writing I’ve not cooked salmon as I’m scared the smell will be too much. Another one is Listerine which I had to used daily to keep my mouth clean of infection. By the end of chemo and after talking (limited) to them I lived on cheese, yoghurt and apple juice. I just couldn’t face anything else.

Oddly when I could start to eat its been spicy curry’s and chilli which I think has been me wanting my taste buds to feel alive again.

The days of having chemo all seem very blurry now as they just seem to run into each other particularly at the end. I’m really glad they said I only needed one round as anymore would have been awful. Even one is taking so long to recover from. The first week I could barely get out of bed, actually I spend days in bed with the only reason for getting out being to goto the hospital for another blood test to tell me how worse I was getting.

One of the effects of the chemo was the drop in platelets and white blood cells and when it hit rock bottom I was not allowed out of the hospital again as I would have caught every germ going around or bleed to death. Fun huh!

Anyway enough. The above needed to be written and now it has.

Transitions to Normal

Well i am back at work now trying to make sense of it all. Its not as easy as I thought it word be,the cancer has left more than one scar. Someone asked me today why should they attend a change meeting I almost replied back 'because it's your fucking job.' I guess my bullshit threshold level has dropped.

Time to return.

Times up and now the real world needs to be faced again. But the what is the reality? The wonders of IT in the crazy world of investment banking or dealing with cancer. I know one thing for sure, the shape of my heart is very different. I can neither look forwards or backwards the same way again. oh well next!

My god the bus is late

Oh how I have gotten used to Japanese efficency. Its 7:49pm in the back end of nowhere and my bus should be here by now. thirty seconds late. no wonder the driver apologised. and to think in London I never wore a watch so as not to know how late the buses were

Seclusion Day 7 - Japan TV.

A slow day for the sun to come out so quality book reading time and then oddly sleepy time. I guess the batteries are still not upto full charge yet. Did get a wonderfull afternoon on the beach in the sun. Have also become a somewhat avid viewer of Japanese TV. Language aside some of it is dead funny. Last night we had the moving company olympics, dead serious and dead funny. Then there is guess the game show. There is nearly always a cooking or travel show (which invarably has the hosts raving about the food in some quaint traditional restaurant - followed by a slow mo close up shot off the food being picked up with chopsticts.) Another fav is the white bread cooking show,butter and salt included. And lets not forget the samuri programs where all the shoguns talk like they are constipated in a frozen dunny.
Not to dissimiliar to some of the male TV hosts. I could go on

In touch with nature.

The japanese take great pride with being in touch with nature and the changing of the seasons. Witness spring when as soon as a single stonefruit blossum appears a millon Japanese are mobilised to take a picture of it or of them standing underneath it. Yet with all this love of nature and natural freash food, they are totally oblivious to the power lines interfering with the view supplying power to the vending machine in case anyone wants a cold coke after all that nature.

Get your whale meat here.

Just tuned into a 'cooking chat show'and todays sponsered product looked suspiciously like whale meat. Just to remove doubt they showed a big picture of a whale to show all the japanese housewives that they are getting the choicest cut of whale. They then showed the contents of the can (which you get mail order). It basically looks like expensive dog food - the type with chunks and gravey. And no matter how good you are at taking the contents out of the can and presenting on a plate, it still looks like dogfood.

Scientific whaling my arse. Still if they are going to serve it up like Fido's dinner then Greempeaces job is done.

The new generation wants fillet o whale and fries, not cans of petfood. pics coming soon

The New PAL Diet

I cannot claim credit for this, however it is to good not to share.

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Woolworths and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again, although
I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so,I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman...why else would I buy dog food???

Another day of Dr Orders

A beautiful day again here in seclusion. Except for the chilly wind it would have been perfect. Walked up the coast this time. Tried sometime in lying in the sun but the wind got the better of me. Did get some great pictures, one set of this old boy who was collecting seaweed and came scurring over to talk to me! On another note I found the pictures of my chemo iv tree,it was a little upsetting, healing time still required.

Onsen Therapy

Finished off the weekend of sun, air and walking with a real authentic onsen. Our timing was perfect as everyone was on the train back tothe ratrace. Place was practically empty. will link to the etiquette of onsen when I return to ratrace!

Seclusion

Just had a full morning of doctors orders. Long walk in the fresh sea air and sunshine. The wind is blowing so hard from the storm front last night that breathing was not an issue, the air was practically being forced down my lungs. I even had the perfect doctors snack - an apple.

Angels at Jikei

One thing that I’ve not expressed is how well I’ve been taken care of over the last 3 months. Most of that has been at the hands of the staff of Jikei University Hospital in Minako-ku Tokyo. The have been the most incredible people to have around when you are not well. Some of it may have to do with having a gaijin to take care of. Some may think that would lead to a lesser care. I will argue that the opposite is the true.

Each and every single member of the staff there went out of there way to make me feel comfortable and accepted really well that my Japanese (nihongo) language skills were not the best, but you will be amazed at how communication can transcend language.

One of the conditions of being admitted for Chemo was that I needed a dental exam which I passed easily other than the molars needed a clean which I knew was due (but I couldn’t see Steven my dentist in NZ last time I was home). They scheduled this for my second day of being in the hospital. I think they picked the one who could speak some English, she was so incredible lovely. After the exam she told me that she was really nervous about cleaning my teeth and kept apologizing that her English was not good. Its not until you don’t speak the native language that you realize those who speak English have made such an incredible effort. This lady also reminded me so much of my aunt (who was at one point my childhood dental nurse). Anyway she did an amazing job of cleaning my teeth and the language differences were easily overcome. I’m not sure she is used to having her patients hug her afterwards, but she deserved it!

Back to my bedside nurses. I kept trying to remember their names but I think the chemo drugs had an affect and I just could get them. However I will always remember there faces and there care. I remember reading Lance Armstong wrote about chemo his nurse being an angel. Well I will always remember mine, they were mine!

Where did you leave you car again?

Okay, I know I'm going overboard with the youtube stuff. But this does have some relevance to me (well almost). I don't own a car and haven't for over 8 years now as all the cities that I have lived in have fantastic public transport and Japan has an amazing transport system for practically anywhere in the country.

Now how many of you have ever wondered where you left the car in a parking building, well I have. I didn't even know about robotic parking until I walked down the street I live in and saw something that could only be a robitic parking builing, and here folks is how it works!!



With Chemo brain like I have this is fantastic. Now do I go out and buy a car to try it out with!!

The Lighter Side

With so many serious things going on its always good to find something to find something that gives you a giggle! Or in this case a bloody good laugh.

A Path Less Travelled.

Well I'm almost at the end of my journey with cancer, yet that in itself is also not accurate. Once you have had cancer you always have cancer in a way, not the actual thing growing in part of your body, but there is always that dreaded thought that the little barstard is lurking around and will raise its ugly head sometime when least expected.

There is also the physical changes that have taken place. I know that the hair is a temporary thing and when I get back home I'm going to clipper the remaining stuff as it just looks like I've had chemo at the moment (not unaccurate), and shaven will at least give me back control. Its just taken a few days to get used to the idea is all.

The most physical change is that I've had part of my body cut way, okay granted not a part used a hell of a lot, but there is that constant reminder there. So what next well I've another blood test tommorow which if given the way that I'm feeling should be showing blood counters going nicely upwards, then its start to resume life.

Question, how do you resume a life that has been shattered to pieces by cancer. Well I've got some idea's now after some soul healing. Firstly lets not sweat the small stuff - go for the bigger picture here. I don't want to be around or associated with people who take away. Secondly other than regular checkups which will be a breeze this cancer thing is being swept out of the door, all be it a now remodelled door. Call it denial, I'm calling it moving on!

Bring on the spice

A silver lining of the last few weeks is that I have had sometime to track down spices for indian cooking online. Have slipped away from my handlers to take delivery of a load of goodies. not least of which being a load of tamarind paste. Can be used for no end of yummy things.

Back in the slammer.

Blood results are not good as my platelet levels keep dropping. Now down so far that i have to stay in the hospital so I won't fall and bleed. Also I cannot fight infection at the moment. I just want this to end so I make plans to get away.

I've got to go now.

The title is from the brillant song by Toni Childs and just fits whats going on here at the moment. I'm now seriously considering leaving the company and Japan and heading back home.

I've had a great time her but events over the last few weeks are really making me question things. Broken promises and misplaced trust have left me feeling similiar to the last few months in Ireland. The best cure for that was a clean start.

hmm a change of pace could be just whats needed.

Waiting for the middle ground

Well I'm almost finished with the chemo course, just waiting for my blood results to stabilise and start going up then I can be discharged from the hospital.

Its been mind numbingly boring the last 2 weeks waiting for drips to finish and now injections and blood tests. Having to spend all my time indoors due to risk of infection has only made that worse. I've been lucky in that I had a number of TV series to catch up on and House MD has provided me some good laughs since they let me stay at home.

A couple of really good friends over-seas have been fantastic at checking up on me via MSN and email which has made me think long and hard about staying here in Japan. Being lonely at work and busy is one thing. Being lonely and sick quite another. Basically its not right place for me to be and I think after this experience its time to move on.

See Forever

Having cancer is no picnic in the park as anyone who has had it will testify too. It does however have a couple of silver linings. One of these is a certain clarity of vision. Leading upto and during the treatments there are so many things going on its like a monsoon, you can't see for all the rain and you feel constantly wet

Yet when its over the air is so clean and clear everything is seen anew. One of those things being looked at is the friends I thought I had and the ones I didn't even know I had. Its amazing how many go running for cover when the rain starts. Others who say they will always be there for you and then decide that being wet isn't so fun and indoors is a much better option.

What these fine weather friends don't realise is that when the sun does come out again I won't be. When you are limited to the amount of energy you have for a period of time you use it where it matters the most, not on people who you no longer need.

Chemo Day 1 - The Start

The actual chemo started today. Its now 9pm and the etopomide is still
being pumped in and will sometimes feeling a little odd nothing major so
far.

Well other than having to pee half a litre every 20 minutes. Which is a
good thing as the kidneys are working.!

Day one

It's all kicking off now. Drip is in and saline flowing in

The power of FON

Got a great boast to this whole process last night.  The laptop was delivered and is doing great.  Got even better when I managed to find some wireless networks.  I could use one that was free but it was way slow.  There was also a FON one from the whole FON network, (link).  I purchased a 5 day pass for $10 and it is working a treat.

 

I have been able to access all my online stuff and configure the laptop to my liking.  Suddenly its not like being closed away from the world anymore.  I'm still reading and working on my katakana, but well impressed with FON.  To the point were I have ordered my own Wifi router to join the wave!!

 

On the serious side, chemo starts in the morning 9am!  3 hours in the morning and then 3 hours in the afternoon - for the next 5 days. 

The next 63 days of my life!

Well its all determined now. Met with the specialist on Friday afternoon and they gave me the layout of the plan and whats going to happen. I’ll be receiving the EP Chemotherapy protocol. The drugs are Cisplastin (the P drug) and Etoposide (the E drug). Its going to be 3 cycles of 21 days each. The first three days are in hospital receiving the drugs, then a few days after checking results then home for rest of the 21 days then repeat, and repeat again, and I’ve been told possible repeat again.

Will be digging out the baseball caps I have somewhere as I’m going to need them. That should be an interesting look. As someone at work pointed out a silver lining, don’t need to shave! And on the silver lining topic I also get my teeth cleaned by the hospital as they need to be really healthy to prevent infection! And I was overdue a clean as well.

Just loading the last of the music and TV programs for viewing whilst sitting around waiting. I should be able to write to this long from the phone so will see how it goes. Later

The conveni

One the most wonderful things about Japan is the 24 hour convenience store. As already said they are open 24hours per day 7 days a week and have basically everything you need (well not everything, but all the basics). I’ve visited them in the middle of the night and what always surprises me is that at 2 am in the morning there are people there reading the magazines or just shopping! This city never really sleeps, it just has the trains stop which slows things down a little.

Did I mention that I live equi distance between at least two of them, and then there is another just across the road from the AM/PM store, so that’s really 3 within a 5 minute walk. You really do just have to love this city.

The day of plan.

Thats what it is called here. I think in the UK it was called the plan of attack. Today its talk to the oncologist and find out what they have in store for me. I already have nausea and the last meal I kept down was Thursday lunch

Free Fall

Its all getting harder now, this morning was terrible with breakfast returning on me fairly quickly. And I haven’t even started the treatment yet. Continued reading the Lance Armstrong book, which was both good and bad. I learnt more about what is likely to happen in the next two month, and bad as it depressed the shit out of me again as I’m now really frightened that I’m going to go through this alone.

I really am wondering if I should return to New Zealand for this, and on top of all this its uncertain what chemo treatments are covered by the insurance plan. So great, I get to have nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and all the other charming effects and have the privilege of paying for it all as well.

It all looks easy from a distance.

Last Monday the future was all looking fairly simple, then on Tuesday it was back to upside down, Wednesday was decision time and then it was simple again. We go off and get some extra treatment and then resume life again. Having made that choice a level of secerenity was possible, now I'm starting to get the real details of it all and quite frankly I don't have to wait for the chemo induced nausea as I've got it already!

When something like this is staring you straight in the eyes you starting searching for the strength to stare right back. Unbeknown to me and surprisingly it is my mothers religous faith that is helping provide this strengh. I'm not going to be running off to confession and taking communion anytime soon, but that belief that there is something more, blended with a few bits and pieces from my travels is very comforting when your all alone in the night.

Me, My cancer and I

Back to the Urologist today to begin stage two of my treatment. The recommendation is for Chemotherapy as according to Japan or latest protocols radiotherapy is not as effective, it was in line with some reading I had done from the UK, so that’s now the course of action. Next step is to meet my oncologist this Friday, watch this space.

I’ve started reading the first parts of the Lance Armstrong book ‘Its Not About the Bike’, a friend recommended it to me and I was going to start it when I came out of hospital but found that even reading a couple of pages was just to upsetting. It’s still causing a few tears now, but more I think from understanding than from me feeling sorry for myself or scared.

Everything has gone really well so far and the outlook is really good, but you still can’t help thinking about the 5% who didn’t make it. Its odd being at the point where I’m actually feeling better day by day and now I’m going to be heading back to hospital to become sick again. (while quietly hoping that the effects will be mild). I guess again I need to wait until Friday to find out all those details as well.

Once again another date and another wait.

An Unexpected Snow

One moment the sky is clear and the next moment its falling down.  If you know where that came from, then you know.  From it I did learn an important lesson.  Take a moment that you really need and then it will always be there for you.  For me I remember a really clear moment when I was at home sitting the boarding platform of Waima out by the mussel farms.  We had pulled up one of the lines so that we could get the mussels of them (ps we have permission to do this from the owners, so please don’t just go and do it).  We had pulled up what we need and I had was still loading them into the sack.  I had one leg in the water and the other on the back of the boat and then opened a raw mussel to eat. 

 

I looked up and across the mussel farms was my home.  My only home that I’ve ever known, the green of the grass blurred back into the blue mountains.  It was one of the endless summer days we get and it was all just so perfect.  I put it into my memory to always remember that moment so I could have some of who I was, am and will always be.

 

It never snows where I live, but this was a unique and special moment for me and an expected snow to me, a flake with unique patterns that will never be repeated and for then it was mine to behold.

 

Reconciling Reality

Wow, the last two days have a been a bit of a mind f&^%.  I thought on Tuesday that I would be having a blood test with results to say all fine; instead I walked out of the clinic with a decision to be made.  To do either ‘Watchful Waiting’ or to have adjunct treatment.  With the waiting option there is a 20% chance of the cancer coming back, with treatment that reduces to less than 1%.  The reason for the waiting option is that if the cancer comes back they can still cure it really easily.  So what would you do.

 

I’ve just covered a couple of points as it’s a bit deeper than that but you get the jist.  What has affected me is that I was under the mistaken impression that ‘hey I’m cured and its all done, just a few follow up blood tests’.  This has opened up a full can of worms on the whole subject and it all got too much.  To be brutally honest I spent most of Wednesday morning crying my eyes out, sometimes for no apparent reason.  Well all for a reason, but just at unexpected times.  Its now Thursday and things are much better, I feel that I’ve reconciled the ‘why’ is this happening me, and my choice of fighting this all the way now.

 

Let ya know the next steps.

d

I don't hear no fat lady?

I should have known it wasn't going to be over. Just back from the doctors (both of them) and am completely confused as to what to do next. Well not totally, one is that I managed to pop on an entire kilo since my last visit to my routine doctor. One could say with all the sleeping and christmas festivities thats not bad, so its diet and gym calling.

The urology doctor is not quite so cut and dried. Yes you did have cancer and now here are the options.

1. We do nothing but you have to blood test, chest x-ray and CT scan every 3 months for the next 2 years (the golden period its called here!). If the cancer takes hold in either the other testicle or lymp node then they 'salvage' the situation - his words, not mine.

2. We either have radication or chemo (and I think the preference they have here is Chemo). This will reduce the chances of it occuring.

So the choices are mine to make. This doctor has a preference of 'Watchful, waiting' as they call it. This is also a 'new' protocol for treatment and I need to find out what the jury currently thinks. I don't like the idea of just leaving the thing to grow and risking more surgury. Family history is that cancer has killed some of us.

No choices made yet - so I guess the stout lady is just warming up!! d

A Pain Free Day

In more ways that one! Morning was spent putting the apartment back into order which didn't take to long, and the always annoying domestic chore of Laundry! I'm toying very much with the idea of getting someone in to do a few hours cleaning and laundry each week. Terrible I know, but wow, how nice to come home to everything spotless.

Afternoon was taken up with a leisurely trip to check out Johns new place which is within shouting distance, or at least, the lights are on - who nobody home - distance. Then on upto Shibuya for some quality HMV time. Picked up a couple of new CD's and then ah, SegaFredo time with Di for hours catching up with everything. Nice was to mellow into the late afternoon. It wasn't until I got home that I realised it was the first day that I've not taken any pain medication for the groin or the bung knee. So a great day in fact!

Dissecting Dinner

Had another really lovely dinner party, with Roast Lamb featuring as the central guest as per normal! The new little oven did a fantastic job of roasting the potatoes and kumera really well, and the normal oven once again outdid itself on the roast lamb, which had just a few pink juices running out when rested and carved. I think it hit a nice 70C in the centre, will have to look that up and check if it was right.

(just checked that 70C is totally perfect - well we could all have told you that after the meal).

Started the dinner off with some more of the Asian Tapas from my still very favorite book of the same name.

Garlic/Rosemary Olives - which goes so well with Anchovy Stuffed Olives - still working on texture of this mix.
Ceviche Scallop - No contest
Kashmiri Prawn Kababs - taste was lovely, but I think I can improve on texture.
Caramalized Mango and Octopus - WARNING Don't use baby japanese squid as found in the market, unless you love the taste of squid bait - got with the octopus - it works really well.
Rainbow Quail Eggs - note to self, use a milder chilli. Choking ones manager with too much spice is not recommended.

Was thinking there was something else but that may have been the bubbles! What birthday dinner is complete without Moet Chandon!

Mounting Tension

I'm on the countdown to the first blood test to see if the cancer was all removed and had not decided to take a little wander to other locales.  Unfortunately as the days countdown the tension mounts up, I realised this morning coming to work that I'm terrified that it will be a bad result and I'll have to have chemo-therapy.  Currently I cannot even confirm a ski-ing holiday in two weeks time.  I'm really starting to resent life having to be put on hold like this.  Okay some would say just book it, do it, don't let it rule your life.  I'll take a wild guess and say those would people who haven't had cancer.  

Its not the cost of possibly having to cancel, its letting people down who are also going on the trip.  Anyway one component of my life that has resumed in full force.  Meetings so gotta go.

Back in Tokyo

After a wonderful holiday with my family in some not so seasonal weather I am back in the massive smoke and on my way back to work after a month away. I wonder if they still need me?

Not a good start

The one thing that rarely happens in japan has happened. My train is running late. Really late it is going to be a dash at the airport. And part of my dash got surgically removed.

Totally Drained

Wow, talk about drained! I had a fairly good nights sleep but feel that I've been hit by a 10 tonne truck. Sure that is me recovering from the stress of it all. Packed all my luggage for NZ last night and its gone to the airport so all that is left to do is tidy up the apartment (and me), then present to the airport Thursday morning.

And the Winner is?

Last night was awful, hardly slept at all. I could possible convince myself that maybe one of my dinner prawns wasn't quite cooked as well as it could be, but I suspect anxiety over getting the pathlogy results was the real suspect.

It was probably exasperated by my little shopping trip to Odaiba to visit Toys R Us for a certain newphew (and I got what I think is a really cool toy so pain be damned), but I did overreach alittle.

To my wonderful friends in Boston who happily took the call at 2am JST and just talked to me until the painkillers kicked in, thank you! I really needed someone right then are there you were. I've been so lucky with a support network worldwide, and thanks to all of you who offered to talk at any time.

So what about the results? I'm just pussyfooting around here. Answer is that the tumour was cancer. 100% Seminoma. Due to its location (within the teste), sizing, blood markers etc I don't require any further treatment such as chemo or radiation. It was caught so early in the piece that its not had time to send out little soldiers and create havoc else were. I do however have to have blood tests every month for the next year, the every two months after yada yada as there is a chance it will come back. But if it does we'll be waiting for it!

I cannot tell you the relief that I felt. It was like I could feel my body stopping production of the stress hormones and the move to flushing them all out. Drained is a good word. After saying a rathter stumbled good bye to my interpretor I headed home.

On that I was so luckly to have her, she was there all the way through and told me that she was stressing for me as well! She is so lovely I don't doubt it!

Now its head home try and eat something and let people know that things are looking great. I get the all clear for cancer and in a few days I get to go home to my family. Lifes looking pretty good at the moment!

The C? Waiting Game.

Well its almost Tuesday and time for the final diagnosis of what exactly the tumor was. I mean right at the moment I don't even know if I do have cancer of not, hence the C? terminology. Everything is healing well from the surgury and I've been out and about the last couple of days doing the important things in life like sinking a couple of SegaFredo cafe latte's and buying presents for my nephew.

The expedition out to Daiba today left me fairly exhausted by the time I got home and its going to be an early night for me! Its not really pain, but certainly uncomfortable after a couple of hours being active.

This whole C? has become a period of dates and depends. Everything prior to the next date in the little treatment calendar is waiting and wondering and until that date everything after depends. Its incredibly frustrating and at times upsetting, no amount of mind discipline can stop you going of into the realm of wild speculation, its possible to acknowledge it and try and move on, but as the 'date' draws closer this is easier said than done.

I've got the pit of the stomach feeling that I had last Sunday before going into surgury on Monday and while I know that I've already done one of the biggest steps its doesn't make the next steps any easier. I'm wanting to tell myself that its benigh, but the chances of a tumor there being benigh are really low, and blah blah blah all the other questions with no known answers.

I need to keep in mind the bad case scenario (not using worst case here), as that way the news will not be total shock! Anyway time for bed and we'll deal with it all tommorow.

Home Again

Hey, its all over, well stage one anyway. Was discharged midday today and sent home! Less 180,000 YEN and one nut! Oh well! Feeling really good at the moment, walking is getting better and better, but marathons are currently not being considered.

Its now just take it easy and recover, which is progressing really really well. Then Tuesday its back for the stiches out and find out the next steps.

Again to all the people who have been to visit me both physically and virtually, thank you so much for your support and kind words you have no idea how much its meant to me over the last 5 days.
d

Improving rapidly

Up and about now still have drips but they go by the end of the day

To just rollover

Well the first hard night is now over. A good run of pain relief and asleeping something and off to the land of nod. but having to sleep on my back, not so easy

The imagination of thrist.

The bodies natural reaction when it water is to find some. The fun begins when you are not allowed to drink any. dinner and drinks just loses that romantic touch when its served in your arm!

And the pain begins

A nice thing about an anesthetic is that obviously there is no pain. Its the wearing off bit thats not so crash hot as I will now happyily attest to. This is when you the post op drugs to not only zonk the pain but also make you sleepy. Lump is now confirmed as a tumour not a bad infection gone wrong,so its hurry up and wait for the pathology results for the next steps.

All done bar getting my legs b

I am all done. Currently cannot feel a thing from my chest dowm. The team were wonderful and we had fun teaching each other english and japanese. Back in my room being fed via my arm. I even got to see the offending item, the tumour was twice the size of the teste so I guess better out than in.

The endless fascination.

Ok,quick question. How often do you go to the bathroom to pee? Go on have a real good think. Well I not only have to record whenbut also how much. There is even a special shelf in the bathroon for the measuring jug. So the deal is I get my own personal pee jug, but need to provide my own chopsticks, mug, spoon and towel. ahhh Japan

Monday - check in time

Well I am all checked in and had everything explained to me by Rika my fabulous interprutor. The gist of it is that as of nine tonight I nil by mouth. This had me well worried as I thought the op was Tuesday night. That long without water who needs surgury,they would have schriveled dry and fallen off. First bit of good news is that there is no sign of spreading and bloods are normal for tumour markers,but we are not out of the cancer woods yet. Other bit of cool is I have a private room with awesome view.

Hello, Technical Support

I've been searching for this particular video clip for ages and finally found a reference to it.

Jebs Jobs - Episode #1

Enjoy, its an oldy but goody and there is now more stuff!

My lump and Me!

Well all the news is in and its being going so fast that I've barely had a second to write anything down. The ultra-sound on Wednesday did not go well and instead of going home after it I was directed to a doctor who broke the news that they have found a tumor in my teste.

A referral to the Jikei University Hospital has resulted in a confirmation that its a big tumor and probably malignant. Some shift around of doctors and I'm being admitted to hospital on Monday, with the slice and dice being done Tuesday. The hospital was incredible efficient and had me all processed in 3 hours! Blood, heart, CAT scan and x-ray. Well impressed.

Going to be posting updates here for people to catchup with whats going one.

Try Winter Strawberries!

There is something that a year of living here I totally love, and still cannot quite figure out, but put it down to one of those 'Japan - go figure things'.

Where I come from in the 'western' world we have strawberries in summer. It is the quintessential summer fruit that is only available when the weather heats up and you want something refreshing.

Well here in Japan a thing to look forward to as it gets colder is Winter Strawberries, and I have no idea where they are imported from but they are totally scrumps. I guess at about 600 yen, or 6USD per punnet they are terrible expensive but man when it gets cold there is nothing nicer for me that biting into a bit of real summer! (or at least for those of us whom summer is strawberries.).

They are now on sale here and I've just had two of the most amazingly tasty little morsels. I'll probably finish them all of by tomorrow, but hey they are really great for you.

What is so really bizarre is that when summer actually does come along they go off sale and stone fruit like the delicious white flesh peaches appear. Why a traditionally summer fruit is only available here during winter, and yet other summer fruit is here in summer is beyond me, but hey, it one of the things of the growing list that I just love about living here.

Settling in!

I'm posting dating this entry as I did write much over the last week. But I there are so many thing s I want to say about having living here for a year. Basically I'm falling in love with the place.

Its taken quite some time to adapt to this point, and it really has been stages. I think that I adapted fairly quickly in the first two months to actually being here, but then each month after has been a growth from there as well.

I remember when I first go here I didn't go out and see much as it was all quite overwhelming, then I waited until my friends came for Spring and I visited Kyoto with them. As you will know if you have read this blog I have fallen in love with Kyoto. Not because its the first place I really 'saw' but more as I really connected to the place.

During that trip I really had to step out of my little 'world' and it was difficult as then I was not comfortable with my language skills. I'm still not, but much better now.

After that it's been an accelerated process of adapting, and it was not until I left this year for 10 days in Sydney that I really noticed how much I had adapted and grown fond of the Japan and Tokyo. I stil don't know how a city this large with so many people can work as well as it does, but beleive me it really does work. Its clean, safe, the transport system works everyday and I've never had a power outage!!.

Yes, its crowded and that takes some getting used to, being crowded into a train, but its very different from London trains, here there is a ettiquite for boarding a crowded train that does not offend. Its totally silent, but learn that skill and its all easy!

I guess I'll be writing more about it as I've decided to stay for another year, why not, so much more to see and learn!.

That place were you are alone.

Just when you think its all ticking along nicely something has to tip over the ink well and spill it all over the neat pages of your life. I spent most of Tuesday at the doctors clinic, and hey the good news is that my cholestoral is well normal finally! But theres a bit of a problem brewing else. There is no definitive diagnosis yet but the one that is scaring the shit out of me cannot yet be ruled out.

Some really great friends have been there for me the last week and still are being supportive and I couldn't ask for more. It amazing how modern technology connects us all, and in many ways you never are alone, time zones aside.

The Big Picture

Been playing around with a new picture gallery toy on the internet.

The Big Picture Gallery

I've posted a cut down and edited version on the Kyoto in Autumn pictures.

Surfing the Crowds Kyoto Style

Wow, I've been so lucking with the last few trips to Kyoto. All thanks to two really great friends. My one here in Tokyo (Di) and through her a new great friend in Kyoto (Faith). Faith lives in Kyoto and had been telling us the places to go and see without the crowds.

The first time we did it was a month ago on a long weekend when the place is just crowded with people for the long weekend. Thanks to Faith's great advise we missed them all and saw some of the most incredible sights. Due to the massive accomodation bookings Di also came across a brillant little guest house in North Kyoto so far away from the crowds you are in the suberbs, but also so well connected to the transport system its dead easy. Each time we just tube under the crowds and leave them to total gridlock!

This trip which is the biggest weekend for viewing Akki (sp) the autumn foliage we again missed the masses and still got to see brillant stuff. Each time we stayed ahead of the crowds and moved to the next place, or more realistic we were just in places where the people weren't.

Even on the way home, we found a santuary at the top of Kyoto Statation, go up two escalators and then no-one, just stare down at the crowds.

Everyone keeps asking me, 'why do you keep going to Kyoto'. Well its just the most incredible place, there is such a peace there (when you get out of the tourist masses) , you find the most stunning gardens and temples. They also have the a calm about them. I'll write more. Wanna see, go look at the picture via the website link and gallery.

Kyoto Dreaming

Do not know why but I have fast and vivid dreams when I am here

The Kyoto Habit

Surprise surprise I am back on a train again heading off to Kyoto. It is becoming such a habit that the guys in the office don't ask where I am going, they already know the destination. This time its to view the autumn foliage. It is a little late this year so the timing should be perfect. pics to follow.

WARNING: Gaijin dancing in Lift

This morning started off fairly much along predictable lines. Hit the alarm once to snooze for 5 minutes (I miss my UK clock that had a 9 minute snooze, 9 minutes is just about right, 5 is just rude!!!), then hit the alarm off and fell back asleep.

Finally cranked eyes open at about 7:50am, NOT GOOD, not only do I now have 10:30 to Midnight conference calls, someone is scheduling 9am ones as well. Luckly lunch is an eat affair to its only make breakfast, shave, shower, toss on clothes and we're done. No worries, all executed, minor memo to get stronger flavoured cocoa as my Mocha smoothie was very much missing the cha.

Out the door, walkman on (this is Japan who goes anywhere with out music,!) In lift flicked on Sony, middle of an ATB Track, perfect beat, just have to move! Arrrhh lift is opening on the 9th floor. Very distraught japanese girl thinking "oh my god I have to get in the lift with him, not only can he not dance he lives in my bulding 'dilema', does one run away on the pretext of forgetting something, but how do I tell the gaijin that I forgot to put on my lippy so he won't think I'm being rude. Which I am, but I don't want to seen that way." "Nothing to be done will have to get into the lift with him, so just smile, walkin turn around and stare into space and hope his failing limbs don't hit me."

Poor girl, I hope she saw the humour of it all, I certainly didn't expect the lift to open on the way down. The delightful thing is that there will likely be a sign in Kanji saying no dancing in the lifts, which will competely miss me!! hmmm just realised I wonder if someone else has been doing something a little more risque than dancing in the lifts as they had installed a monitor on the ground floor that shows the video feed from both lifts. Guess someone must have called a lift and had to door open on somebodies in flagrante delicto.

True Friendship

"True Friendship"
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit ! whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want catch whatever you have.
8 . When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... ! I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask."because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me....I don't want to hear it!!!)

And remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over

An analysis of Self Destruction

The beginning of November has not been that pleasant for me over the last few years, oddly in contradition to October when I seem to change countries. Six years ago November started off just like all the other months with nothing obvious coming up. I was living in Ireland at the time so I think Guy Fawkes featured somewhere, the weather was getting brisk and cold, but working late into the night at a cosy bar made that bearable.

Then my world started to collaspe.

Step 0.5 was getting a message to phone my brother. As my brother and I didn't really chat all that much this could not be good. It wasn't Mum had a lump in her breast and was off for a biopsy. Not good, but not earth shattering.

Step 1 - Nov 11 Sunday, closing the bar two guys in balaclava rush out of the toilets with pistol and shotgun, aimed and you can guy who and the manager. Being tied up pleading not to be shot is one of the more defining events in a life and not one I would wish on anyone. Wondering if, then hoping you would be shot first so you don't have to hear the sound of the bullet still makes me go cold. Obviously I survived to write this story, but its taken alot of time to put some of the pieces back together.

Step 2 - Nov 13 - Tuesday, after 48 hours of puking and shitting and sweating everything out of my body, and when not visiting the bathroom paralysised under a montain of blanets by shock I emerged to view the world again, then got called by my father with biospy results. My mother had breast cancer. I remember very clearly two things from that day. a) walking into the bar and being asked if I was okay, my reply was not I'm not, I feel like I'm coming apart at the ends. b) walking into the main town looking at the sky and thinking well, you may as well hit me with the rest, cos I'm really down in the gutter and nothing else is going to hurt. Step 3 was the betrayel of a friend of 16 years who threw that all away to score a couple of cheap points in a deadly game that eventually lead to me packing everything into a box and leaving Ireland to protect my life, rather than remain and testify.

No - november is not a good month for me.

Did I miss Japan?

Would you believe that when you boil it all down I actually missed my new adopted home. And after all the heartache of adjusting that was a shock.

Profound

Single occupant
Bathroom is locked. Why knock? Door
Didn't lock itself.

For this and more little gems check out

Office Haiku

It's certainly made life at the office a little more amusing.

The ultimate consumer!

Well its time come back! Just been through duty free and remembered to
pick up some sparkling shiraz. Well. The lady saw me coming

'Do you have sparkling shiraz?'
'Right this way.'
'That's it I'll take a bottle.'
'Just one sir?'.
'Two bottles then'.
'If you buy three bottles you get a 10% discount.'
'I can take three bottles into Japan.?'
'Of course.'
'Well then three bottles it is then.'

Three bottles are duely selected and prepared for packing.

'Your not carrying any other wine are you?'
'No, just a tin of spaghetti and a bottle of mint sauce.'

The 'oh my god, he's a fruit loop and he looked so normal expression'.

I think she gave me double packing on the bag in case I had future plans to
swing the bag wildly around my head and they feared legal proceedings.
Might explain why the second bag was inside out with no label showing.

If only she knew that sparkling shiraz is the perfect starter for a dinner
party of roast lamb and roast lamb really mint sauce to really make the taste buds
tingle.

The tin of spaghetti I hear you asking - well that's has to do with the
morning after brekky!!!!

So my place roast dinner - lambo with sparkling shiraz, sorry no breakfast
only one tin of spagola.

Age does matter

I've noticed somehtibg while walking around the centre of Sydney. My first
reaction was how small it was, but that's an unfair observation based on
relative experience. Once putting this aside I really started to look
around and then noticed what a wonderful mix of new and old the buildings
are.

I guess in Japan if its not over a thousand years old it's game on to tear
it down and replace with something modern of dubious arhitectual merits.

Sydney being relatively young still values the buildings of yesteryear, and
its not until they are absent are they missed. A message to the planners
of Sydney 'don't rip your history down'
--- Sent from My Blackberry Wireless Handheld ---

On a jet plane.

It is hsrd to believe that I have been here for 1 year now. Time flys when
you cannot tell the time! Oddly the language lessons are paying off as
things being said around me are registering. I am nowing waiting for a
flight to Sydney and already it is a little disconcerting having so many
conversations in english going on around me. Its like the filters are
currently wide open so its all flooding in. I am curios to find out how
long it will be before I drown it all out again. I'll get back to you on
that.
--- Sent from My Blackberry Wireless Handheld ---

On a jet plane.

It is hsrd to believe that I have been here for 1 year now. Time flys when
you cannot tell the time! Oddly the language lessons are paying off as
things being said around me are registering. I am nowing waiting for a
flight to Sydney and already it is a little disconcerting having so many
conversations in english going on around me. Its like the filters are
currently wide open so its all flooding in. I am curios to find out how
long it will be before I drown it all out again. I'll get back to you on
that.
--- Sent from My Blackberry Wireless Handheld ---

Spot the Dog

I learnt an interesting lesson today about when to get a haircut, or more specifically a cut and colour in Japan. I was a tad cautious about getting highlights done in Tokyo as the experience with non-black hair can be fairly limited. A great friend Di had run into issues with her hairdressor on this exact same issue. However with summer being here it just didn't feel summer without going blonder, and given that it was just too damn hot to sit in the sun, le blond o natural was not going to happen.

Now I was aware that the guy who cuts my hair actually worked in 'New Yorks' (yes that's how he says it, and it way to adoreable to correct!) so I figured with all of those bottle blonds wasps he must have some idea. And the first round was a total success.

Alas my appointment for the next cut was late at night and I fear his attention to detail my have slipped a faction, for this result does look like spot the dog, however not a total loss, with some wax and scrunching its great. and luckily the weather is such that wax works now instead of turning into a pool of goop and sweat. Just when its flat it really does look 101 Dalmations. Mind you here in Tokyo, its likely to start another fad!

Ahh Japan, either love it, or buy a ticket and get on the plane!

Re-zenninng

For reasons unbeknown to myself I'm heading back to Kyoto for a long weekend. The place Di and her mother were staying at had a spare room!! And given that it was a long weekend and every person so possible can is heading to Kyoto this was a good sign! Booking tickets with my friendly travel agents JTB also worked out well, snagged for myself one of the last tickets out of Tokyo on the Nozomi Shinkansen Saturday morning, and get this, sitting across the aisle from Di and mum on the way back.

First stop was Nanzenji to meet up with them for lunch. There is something very special about Kyoto as within minutes of arriving the stress and rubbish of Tokyo just started to drain away, after just 30 minutes of aimlessly meandering around taking pictures it felt like I had gone a world away! There were some interesting shots of what you not wear when out Temple hoping. The small garden behind the causeway was open this time, and oddly not busy at all considering how many people were walking around the main temple complex, the changing weather of light rain to brillant streaks of sunshine gave the garden a timeless quality and kept its energy level up. Really time to just open up and absorb it all in!

Lunch of yodofu (simmered Tofu), completed the transformation. Di had been given the inside scoop to head off to Daigo-ji which is a temple in the south west and off the beaten track, and what a gem it was. Links below.

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3916.html
http://www.daigoji.or.jp/e/index.html

The garden (which you are not allowed to take pictures of) is totally stunning and you just want to sit and absorb. By the time we got the small shrine at the top we had the whole place to ourselves. The photos (when uploaded) are here at the gallery.

We had managed to avoid the madding crowds and returning to Kyoto to find our accomodation in North Kyoto we just travelled beneath the thronging streets! By the time we emerged at Kitayama station it was surberbia. The place Casa Nutu is just a little difficult to find and in the dark its quite the challenge but well worth it. The house used to belong to our hostess's mother and father. She returned to care for them and after there passing decided to open the house up as a small guest house. Its an original Kyoto home and has to double rooms down stairs and two small upstairs. And forget on-suite and private bathrooms, this was a real home and has not been changed drastically to make it work as a small and totally unique guesthouse. I'm not even going to mention how to get there or the phone number - as we are heading back!!

Culture intake

Just spent the last three nights absorbing more culture than a months intake of yoghurt.a series of concerts over ramadan

Inevidabilty of the Seasons

Wow, its so hard to beleive that Autumn is on its way. I think half of Tokyo is still holding its breath waiting for Summer to really kick in, but I guess its come and gone. Well more like limped into the room, suffered a coronary and was last seen being wheeled out on a gurney. (and if I get time I'll back date an entry that will make that analogy sing!).

We are now officially in Typhoon season, which being Japan means more bloody rain. I really don't know why the English complain so much about rain in the UK, cos they have got nothing compared to the rain here. I don't think I've ever owned so many umbrella's (okay one is not technically mind and has been procured, but I've also lost one to be procured by someone else - so evens).

I started todays blog off with a different title as it was rather gloomy this morning, still is gloomy outside, but the day has improved. Probably because I have been able to clear a backlog of dull work from my desk! Now I can look forward to the new dull work! I detect a weekend on a beach calling again! My wave seems to have reached the beach and run out of ommph.

Season Two

This week i think i have been a carry on comedy. The is an upside to this and that is that i am laughing! as my manager just told me why would you want to leave and miss the next episode.

Get off my wave!

Amazing time in Shimoda

How lost is lost

Well if you run out of english signs it's a fairly good guess.

No signal

how do you know you have dropped off the radar in japan well its quite easy. Mobile phone reception gets patchy, note I did not say non existant this is Japan after all keitei work in the underground here. A much better indicator is the number of stares on the train. Kansas Toto is back that way!

You know you've been in the UK too long when...

· You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday during the day is also entirely reasonable.
· You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.
· Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
· You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!
· You actually step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
· You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
· You have considered wearing a badge that you can pass to people when you first meet them with answers to those all-important questions they all want to know. "No, I am not a Kiwi, I am an Aussie. I have been here for x-number of years. I am here on x visa. We come to the UK because it is the thing to do. No, I do not know how long I will be here for."
· You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
· You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.
· You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the NZ international telephone operator (or on TV!).
· You think 40 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.
· You have stopped calling people 'a dag' because you don't want to have to explain it.
· You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
· After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house, and not a 24 hour McDonalds.
· More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
· You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
· You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
· You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
· You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
· You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.
· You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
· You realise your sunburn cream is the stuff you originally bought from home with you.
· A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
· You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.
· You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
· A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
· You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

Define Hot

I'm working out that this whole heat thing is relative. Relatively constant being the first! We seem to have settled into a distinct pattern of summer now which at least means well, not sure, will get back to you on that. Last few weeks have been rather sluggish adapting to the constant changes of stifling hot outside to sub Antarctic freezer inside. Trick - loads and loads and loads of water, and a few sports drinks as well. Its stunning just how much you lose.

As you so cold once you get inside there is suddenly no inclination to drink water, bad bad bad! Its so nice and toasty warm here that I have the aircon at home switched on to bring my apartment down to a chilly 26 degree's celsius. And trust me that really cold enough.

Summer essential is one of these things!

The Death of Common Sense

Today we mourn thepassing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student - but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Fixing IPOD Volume Problems

I've finally figured out how to get my ipod to correct the volume on the tracks that were playing at tinny level. And before everyone slams me, yes I knew about volume levelling and sound check on I-tunes, and sound check on the ipod, and volume leveling on Media Monkey, and volume leveling on a rather nifty program called MP3 gain which did a great job of fixing up some of the tracks. But what I could not figure out was why the problem kept getting worse.

In desperation I actually reset the IPOD back to factory defaults, it wasn't like I had much of deep value on there and it was getting to the point of mega frustration anyway. I thought this had cracked it, but still Saltwater by Chicane was bung, and then every second track by Sarah Mclachlan from the same CD/download was at crap volume. Something was definately awry in the land of apple.

Now run the same said tracks into Media player and the neighbours would have been complaining (as if they ever would, way to scared I won't understand!!!). Even odder was that if ITunes got ahold of the track it played okay as well, then did little fumble with Ipod and it seemed okay. Well there was no way I was going to manually play every single track on ITunes just to fix this up. The Sony Netman was surfacing face. I even installed Sonic stage.

I then did a get info on one of the naffed tracks and found its volume adjustment was -100%. hmmm something not right at the core of this apple one thinks. A return to 0 sound adjustment and resync and fixed. Next step, select all tracks, set to 0% sound adjustment. Resync all to the IPOD, and hello sweet sound! It took a few hours for all 4000 tracks to sort themselves out again, but the results are that I now have crystal clear constant sound! Stick that sound adjustment in your ear and level it!.

Asian Tapa's Party

Can report that the Asian Tapas dinner party was a huge success, food wise at least. The bad weather meant that the fireworks were delayed for a night (and yep they were visible from the Balcony).

Still a few Sangria's and bubbles and who cares!!! This is the book that I got all the recipes from, and heres the link to Amazon (so hopefully the won't be too pissed that I ripped off their picture!).

The recipes in it look rather complex, but when read then and think about them they are actually really easy. A little bit of prep before hand and its easy! I did go through an awful lot of red chilli!

And we never even got near the Buritto's I had planned in case people were not feelling 'full up'!

The Ultimate Tokyo Fashion Accessory.

Well I've given up totally on trying to work out the weather here. All the western systems are saying that its either sunny, or light rain, or something else rather inane. The local weather forecasts which I am hearing second hands say, typhoon and 25ml of rain at 6pm.

Looking out the window shows loads of rain, and building wind. I did do an interpretation of a 'proper' weather site that says there is a tropcial storm 70km's south of Tokyo which would handily explain said rain and wind outside. What I want to know is how come the BBC is saying mild winds of 2kms and light rain, when almost within visual range there is a big bloody Tropical Storm, that seems to be turning into a Typhoon. Anyway its off shopping tonight for the infamous spoons so I can serve the bloody scallop ceviche! And if necessary pickup some wet weather gear.

State of Grace

What is a State of Grace. Well I saw something the to the other day that gave a rather good definition (over and above the pure dictionary/religious version). A state of grace is a touch of truth. Its when you reach a point a perceive a truth that you did not realise before, and it gives you a certain empowerment to go forward.

Does this mean I've found a State of Grace, I don't think I could be so persumtious to go that far. Right now so much is going on (again) that really nothing is for certain. I've been dealing with my dad going back into hospital for suspected cancer and have found that I may have my own case of that just a little closer to the soul. or approximately 30cms below my neck.

But in otherways I have reached a place neutrality, certain choices have now been made and the consequences of these need to be played out. Will I get transfered to Sydney, or will they decide that hmm maybe not worth the effort. The State of Grace is that all possible decisions have now been made for right or for wrong. The outcome, well that could be a whole new blog!
But stay tuned the Asian Tapas dinner party is coming up this Saturday and that should be a load of fun. (if I can just find the bloody spoons to serve the Scallop ceviche on).
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Life in a Dilbert Cartoon

This week has been like living in a Dilbert cartoon. Some of the stuff thats being happening could only happy in such a place, since we seem to be having a reality detachment. Unfortunately I've got to work through it. Its rather stunning to have your new manager walking around the office, but never introduce himself - for two whole weeks!! One day I may actually meet the man, thats if I decide to hang around.

Never confuse a cheap nights electricity with a good nights sleep.

For some reason the rainy season is back again, and this time its really making itself known. Rain rain rain rain rain. Humid humid humid humid humid. damp damp damp damp damp. Not entirely hot yet, the small silver lining of a mostly entirely cloudy skyline.

I had my air con unit on last night from when I got home, but just as I was tumbling into bed I open the windows and decided that it was actually not that hot outside and maybe I didn't need to have Mr Air Con on. Well after 30 minutes of the door open whilst ready my magazine the sheets had turned damp and sticky again, so I decided that after the previous couple of rather sleep deprived hot/sweaty night I would leave the aircon on at a nice 27 degree's dry. Had a fantastic nights sleep, so much so that I was late waking up and had to scoot to work, instead of the normal saunter!!

Did I really just type that!

Life here in Tokyo goes on, today is actually very pleasant its raining and cold at 25 degrees. Yes 25 is cold! In fact it was so 'cold' last night that I turned off the air conditioning and slept with just the windows open!! - Probably the humdity was low! And we are still in the rainy season, Soon that will be over and the heat will rocket upto 35 and the humidity goes upto a very comfortable 90+.

I'm back visiting Kyoto with friends this weekend and hopefully this rain will continue and make for a pleasant trip - now there is a sentence you don't expect to read!

Okay, I have the Fish, but I'm Missing Somthing

I've been watching a cooking program about fish tonight and really thinking about it. And as mentioned a few weeks ago its not like I don't have access to the thingings. Actually I probably have access to more types of fish that anyone else in the world. Japan has the largest fish market the in the world (Tsukiji) so why I am complaining?

Well, I think its because for me there is something more than just eating fish. Its the whole process of catching, cleaing and preparing!. Squid caught in the Indian Ocean eaten at sunset at Rottness Island, or the varied fare of home. Food caught, prepared and eaten with family and friend is always better. The photo here is of my mother with one of our regions most famous fish the Coromandel Snapper. This one is a very nice standard model and will provide very nicely for the family dinner!. Actually my mother is the sly fisherwomen of the family. Ask her if she has something on the end of the line and the answer is always "no, its a throwback" (meaning undersize which has to be returned), 9 times out of 10 it never is and it goes into the sack for dinner. Mum keeps quietly doing this on the side of boat all the time, and I suspect over the years that while she has never pulled in the massive huge snapper she has far outfished all of us combined. Converserley if you are wondering Mum holds the record for pulling the largest Kingfish for the family and if records stand:
Dad/Andrew largest Harpuka/Sea Bass - you two go figure that one out.
Mum largest Kingfish
Me largest Snapper
Does my family like to fish.
Just a little!